TCFL 18 Portland // Episode 4 Recap

Hello TCFL. After a brief hiatus, I'm back. As a lot of you know, we've been in the process of moving out of our house in Northern Virginia, to move into my in-laws house in Virginia Beach while our new house in North Carolina is being built. Well this past week, I was alone in the house trying to clean and pack everything, coordinate a moving company, and get my 2nd Moderna shot at the same time. It was... not great! So for this week's recap, let's play some phrase association with my shitstorm of a week and Episode 4. As always, standings can be found HERE.

"What is this? Why the fuck do we have this? I'm just gonna throw it away."

Said by me, multiple times throughout my packing and cleaning of our house. We lived in a small, 1,200 square foot rowhouse. Yet we managed to pack SO much shit in there. This is for Kiki and possibly the easiest elimination in recent memory. You can't come back from raw chicken. You'd think that the Chefs would know by now: when Tom is trying to tell you something... listen.

"Hello. I'd like to rent a 2nd storage unit, please."

Unfortunately said by me, after realizing that our 1st unit would not be enough to store all of our crap. Don't chase one mistake with more mistakes. This was for a renewed and rejuvenated Chris who not only won the Quickfire (plus immunity and $10K) but also made an appearance at the top of the Elimination.

"I'm a box short."

A depressing realization towards the end of packing. In reality, I ended up about half a dozen boxes short, which made life that much more difficult. While eliminating vegetables from the challenge must have been a huge pain, it definitely showed who the real players are in this thing. By the way, I can't get over Melissa going: "Spin! Ha!" It was so hilarious that she was trying to be Tom-esque and a little wicked but is just too nice to pull it off.

"By the way, my window is stuck open."

On the last day in Alexandria, the front driver side window in my car decided to stay open. Which mean that I had a 3-hour drive ahead of me with the wind in my face. I don't want nature in my face when that "nature" is I-95. It's far cry from the nature of this episode, which was beautiful. This Elimination Challenge alone makes me want to visit Oregon. Unfortunately, this may be the most of outdoor Oregon we get, as production was during the wildfires.

"I had a heel of toast with a hot dog in it."

We did a pretty good job of eating through our fridge and pantry in the lead up to our departure. When that happens, you end up with a heel of toast with a hot dog in it. What I did not have was any Campbell's Soup. But you know what I did buy as a treat for myself? Some Talenti Layers (it was fine).

"Do you swear or affirm that everything you say during this recording is true?"

Said to me by my remote notary, Scott, who I needed to be on a video conference with while I e-signed closing documents to sell our house. It's incredible that all of this can be done remotely now. Things I don't want to go away after the pandemic: remote transactions like that one, curbside everything, and the Alumni panel on Top Chef. I love them all. Keep them around always. And Brooke hasn't even shown up yet.

"Almost done. Just playing Tetris with my car."

This is what we call it when I try to pack our cars to maximum capacity. Except this time - due to things like diaper pails, air purifiers, and plants - it was fitting a lot of awkward sized pegs into awkward sized holes. A lot like Avishar who keeps trying to make Ohio happen. Ohiotto? Because it's not-not a risotto?

"Fuck it, I'm getting tacos."

My last meal, eaten on the front porch after I locked everything up was from my favorite taco place in Northern Virginia, Taco Bamba. By the way, are you guys aware that Maria is Mexican? Has she mentioned that before?

"I'm sleeping on an air mattress and using my daughter's sleeping bag as a sheet."

You gotta make do with what you have, and no one handled that better than Gabe and Gabriel. Gabe's dish was so out there that even Blais called it weird. And the balls on Gabriel to confidently serve three oysters when any small mistake would have resulted in Tom going "you have three hours, and you give us raw oysters?" With Sara and Shota taking a bit of a step back, these two gotta be the current favorites.